“He has your attention, so now what?”
You’re on your way home, hustling to get to your final destination for the evening. You’ve had a long day and you’re kind of tired. All you can envision is getting home, peeling out of your cloths, taking a nice hot shower, and laying down for the rest of the evening. Suddenly your thoughts are interrupted. You hear the sexy masculine voice of a man say “Excuse me Miss, can I have a moment of your time?”
Hesitantly you turn around ready to be dismissive, but upon first glance you notice that he’s very easy on the eyes. He has a full set of nicely whitened teeth, fresh breathe (which is a bonus), and an overall nice and neat appearance. So you think to yourself “One minute won’t hurt.” You interact briefly and he asks for your phone number. Numbers are exchanged and just like that your on your way.
Well time has passed. You and Mr. Handsome have been conversing on the phone for about a month, maybe even two. He surely has your undivided attention. So you begin to ask yourself…. “Hmmm when is he going to ask me out on a date?” 9 times out of 10 if a substantial amount of time has passed, and you haven’t been extended an open invitation to at least dinner or even a movie, then guess what? It’s probably not going to happen.
In a situation such as this, do you say something? Or do you just wait it out? For me personally there’s a window of time that should be allowed. Now that window of time solely differs from person to person. What I will say is if a man doesn’t offer to spend some face to face time with you within the first few conversations, and he is gainfully employed. Then he’s not interested in you and if that’s the case, then he isn’t about to invest any of his finances on you.
Ladies how many times has this been an issue for you? I know for me personally, in the past, more times than i’d care to count. Long gone are the days when men are actively pursuing us, just to get to know us better. Men used to actually call you, instead of texting you a few lines. They would actively try to take you out for a night on town. Now they just want to come over to your pad, have you cook, then Netflix and chill.
What happened? Has times changed that drastically? Where did we go wrong? For starters a lot of us woman sell ourselves short, and because of that men feel as though every woman is the same and no hard work is required. A lot of us are accepting late nights and early mornings. We no longer require men to get to know us better by building friendships, or spending quality time. There are no longer expectations of meaningful conversations, or fun nights out on the town.
Instead we have traded down and become way too accepting of ill behavior, while setting the bar extremely low. The dating scene has dried up dramatically so some of us are just so happy and thirsty that someone is taking an interest in us. We are now just accepting whatever. In our minds we don’t want to rock the boat and scare a potential candidate away. Surely I’m not saying that the whole male species is ruined and has become a lost cause.
There are some brothers out there that are able, willing and ready to court you but… They don’t have a clue on where to begin. How is this even possible you ask? Well some men weren’t taught how to properly pursue a woman. Many lack a positive male role model, and these lessons are nonexistent.Now I’m not saying that a single mother isn’t able to teach her male son these things, because that is totally untrue. The problem is in some circumstances, if a woman hasn’t been taught how to be treated. How can she give someone any lessons on how they should be treating another female?
In addition, you have the men who haven’t had to activity pursue a woman. I’m talking no word play, date nights, or quality time spent. Scary isn’t it? But all hope isn’t lost thankfully. You may cross paths with a man that doesn’t have the know how but is willing to learn. If that’s the case then my dear you may have a fighting chance. You just have to be patient, and willing to teach him how to treat you. And that’s when your hard work will pay off.
Things to know;
Know that it’s ok if a man is unwilling to meet your wants and needs. Know that there will be another man that will come along and give you everything you require and more. Just please stop settling and know that it is ok to be single until the right man comes along. Be patient and know exactly what you want. Set standards for yourself, be vocal about your wants, needs and expectations. And don’t expect a person to automatically know what your looking for if you have no clue. If you want something that is real and to be taken more seriously, then you have to take yourself seriously.And be selective on who you decide to give your time and attention to.
Ladies, what are your thoughts?